Healings FAQ No. 12, Mark Edgar Stuart
Healings FAQ No. 12, Mark Edgar Stuart
"There's something much bigger than us. So big the most gifted and intuitive humans on the planet have zero clue."
This past week, I had to head back to the cancer HQ for some routine bloodwork, specifically the “infusion floor” where they administer chemotherapy and various labs. When I arrived, I checked in with the same cheerful assortment of admins and nurses who shepherded me through my chemo, and who greeted me with warm smiles and requests to see baby photos. However, something was off: The room itself had changed. It’d been given a new paint job, and there seemed to be fewer loud party favors festooning the walls and ceilings. In general, the place just felt more sterile and clinical than I remember. Whither the garish plastic pineapples symbolizing a vacation paradise (har har)?
It’d been a year since I was spending multiple days a week in that room, with tubes and chemicals—some of them literal poisons—running through my body. I don’t know if I fully appreciated the charm of all that goofy production design at the time, but seeing it missing made me realize the importance of humor, light-heartedness, and whatever good cheer a group like this—both patients and staff—can muster under the circumstances. There’s a reason MASH was so popular during its heyday. When you’re surrounded by death and infirmity, you need all the laughs you can get.
Today’s Healings FAQ contestant, Mark Edgar Stuart, knows a thing or two about keeping things light in the face of life’s heaviest moments. A singer-songwriter whose combination of homespun wisdom and wry observational humor calls to mind folks like John Prine and Blaze Foley, Stuart’s been a fixture of the Memphis music scene for decades, as a producer, side-man, and celebrated solo artist. He’s also a cancer survivor, specifically lymphoma, same as me, and references to his ordeal crop up in his songs, as in 2015’s jaunty “Ms. America,” wherein he skewers our nation’s healthcare system: “I’ve been sick since 20-and-10/ My misfortune is how you stand to win.”
Stuart has a new album out this week, Never Far Behind, featuring the single “Until My Dying Day,” a catchy tune whose cheerful bounce belies the fact that it’s about, well, the memories Stuart plans to hold on to until he kicks the bucket. Like the rest of his oeuvre, the track is thoughtful and occasionally quite heavy, but delivered with a wink and a smile. Very fitting, for a cancer survivor.
And now please enjoy Mark Edgar Stuart’s Healings FAQ.
What happens when we die?
I have no idea. I'm ok with that. Eternal life and reincarnation both make sense to me. It's not one or the other. Bits and pieces perhaps, it's beyond our comprehension. In due time, fine by me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Hate to not get into heaven based on a technicality.
On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being terrified and 1 being it’s never crossed your mind, how afraid are you of dying? Explain.
Five. I'm kinda obsessed with it, not a suicidal obsession but the mystery of it all intrigues me. The world's smartest scientists don't know, theologians think they know, and weirdos like me are dying to know.
What’s the closest you’ve come to death? What did you learn, if anything?
I had cancer 12 years ago. That definitely puts things into perspective. I also had an anesthesia mishap as a kid. I remember it quite well to this day. It wasn't me looking over my own body kinda movie shit, it was the sounds of panic and peace all at the same time. What did I learn? Everything is a passing phase. Everything.
Do you believe in God? Explain.
Absolutely, Bible not so much. There's something much bigger than us. So big the most gifted and intuitive humans on the planet have zero clue. I'm ok with just letting the mystery be. I believe in the mystery. It's pretty cool. I'm not even sure if God is a person, but I'm ok with that too. I do believe it will be revealed to us when we die.
Do you have a spiritual practice? If so, what is it? If not, why not?
Quiet time. You have to be receptive to the voices in your head. Trust them, let them guide you.
Give me an example of a sacred text, for you personally—a work of some kind (book, album, song, painting) that’s essential to the formation of your spiritual worldview. Explain.
If you ain't busy living, you're busy dying.
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Healings is written by Garrett Kamps and edited by Tommy Craggs. Ayana H. Muwwakkil provides art direction.
Healings is about illness, recovery, spirituality, and related topics, and began in the summer of 2023 as a chronicle of Garrett’s battle with cancer. We make no guarantees that it will hold together, thematically speaking, now or ever.
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My beloved Papa suffered through 9 months of multiple myeloma. My sister and I had arranged for cremation. The morning after his death, I arrived at my parents' home. Mom greeted me with, "what are we going to do with Papa's body?" She moaned and groaned about our decision. "I want a grave, I want to cry on his grave." A week later, our family (my sister and spouse, my spouse and our two sons and Mama" gathered at Asilomar Beach on the Monterey Peninsula. Papa's ashes were scattered over the ocean as the skies above shimmered with sun rays piercing through slivers of clouds. Mama threw roses into the crashing waves. On our walk back up to the road and our cars, Mama revealed, "Papa and I often ate our lunch while parked here. (They were instructors at the Monterey DLI.) Papa once told me he wanted his ashes scattered here." I burst into tears of overwhelming gratitude. Papa knew. He's still with me. Joe's ashes are in the local hills where he loved to mountain bike. Joe knew. He is still with me.